Start Butch for femme dating

Butch for femme dating

Maybe I’m a naïve feminine-presenting queer, but it wasn’t until I began dating my partner who is a masculine-identified and masculine-presenting queer person that I found out from various community members that this type of relationship is a “thing.”Up until this point, my queer partners have been femme-presenting women, which means that when we’re in public space, the assumptions most straight folks make is that we were particularly touchy straight friends.

It was frustrating, feeling like I just couldn't find anyone I liked... Support groups and lesbian communities were not well-publicized, and hard to find unless you knew who to talk to.

I kept looking for an easy solution, but there wasn't one. There just wasn't an easy way to be a part of the community.

Kim Tran is a doctoral candidate in Ethnic Studies and Gender, Women’s and Sexuality Studies at UC Berkeley.

She is a collective member of Third Woman Press: Queer and Feminist Publishing and facilitates workshops on queer cultural competency and uprooting anti-black racism in the Asian American community.

Unfortunately, what I and many folks who read femme or are femme have in common is the assumption that we are the passive, “emotional” partners in our relationships, even though that’s frequently not the reality.

What strikes me as problematic, if not painful about this kind of policing of identity is that a fundamental part of my queerness is the desire for all types of people and bodies. My partner will totally hate reading this, but I’ll happily take the heat because I want to validate folks who are queer like me and date cis women, trans folks, gender non-conforming folks, and – yes – cis dudes.

And there's some features like chitchat and forums where you can actively discuss all kinds of topics or nothing at all. We make it easy for you to find each other and make contact.

And we even have a free trial so you can try it out and see what you think before you go any further. My own journey is a long story - ask me about it sometime, if you see me online - but I realized early on how difficult it was for lesbians to meet each other.

Finally, 13 years ago, I realized that if anyone was going to build the place I dreamed of, it would have to be me. When I started working on Pink Sofa, I consulted with lesbians all over the world to find out what they valued in a community.

Since then I've been working to build a place for lesbians to meet, talk, learn about each other, and (with any luck! In their responses, I found 10 words that kept coming up again and again.

I went from “on the fence” to over the fence in a hurry on that one just because I felt like her decision to allow me to pay was in bad taste. For instance, if yours is an old-school Butch/Femme pairing, you can bank on the fact that the Femme is most likely waiting for the Butch to make the first move. Men have been complaining about that one for centuries. Then there are other questions to consider based on a well you actually know each other. Do you trust her enough to go into her home blindly?